pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
