He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
