Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
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watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
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How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
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