Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
