Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
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