I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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