I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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