whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
