man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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