I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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