its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
