I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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