When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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