go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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