where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
