so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
