Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
