it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
