i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
