Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Randomize
