Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
