You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
