i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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