This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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