just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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