that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
