k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
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He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
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He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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