I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
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As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
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I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
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