omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Randomize
