It's just like the Real World with babies
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
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