wake up i wanna do it froggy style
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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