My brain says no but my pants say off.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
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he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
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We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize