Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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