I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
