I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize
