Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
