...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
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I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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