That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
