Texts From Last Night

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  (914): View more from New York

  Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.

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  (914): Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex. http://tfl.nu/kgv4
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have

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  (978): ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have http://tfl.nu/u3xa
  Replies (17) Good night (1070) Bad night (5849) Order T-Shirt
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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  (613): There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room. http://tfl.nu/y7ti
  Replies (17) Good night (2058) Bad night (4899) Order T-Shirt
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  (409): View more from Texas

  We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.

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  (409): We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield. http://tfl.nu/bpsu
  Replies (45) Good night (11148) Bad night (2401) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.

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  (415): Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle. http://tfl.nu/saxv
  Replies (7) Good night (3631) Bad night (1089) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.

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  (678): his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him. http://tfl.nu/quex
  Replies (24) Good night (5827) Bad night (1077) Order T-Shirt
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.

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  (303): She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before. http://tfl.nu/yrqt
  Replies (82) Good night (9211) Bad night (1121) Order T-Shirt
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.

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  (502): I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean. http://tfl.nu/5uk0
  Replies (6) Good night (4148) Bad night (1192) Order T-Shirt
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.

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  (910): I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him. http://tfl.nu/a5tc
  Replies (12) Good night (1338) Bad night (2275) Order T-Shirt
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.

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  (202): i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day. http://tfl.nu/yh3a
  Replies (21) Good night (9777) Bad night (760) Order T-Shirt
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?

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  (734): Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold? http://tfl.nu/ybs2
  Replies (7) Good night (2987) Bad night (656) Order T-Shirt
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.

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  (860): They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult. http://tfl.nu/lsvs
  Replies (4) Good night (2220) Bad night (668) Order T-Shirt
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  (772): View more from Florida

  we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life

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  (772): we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life http://tfl.nu/tfqf
  Replies (15) Good night (884) Bad night (295) Order T-Shirt
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  (904): View more from Florida

  its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.

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  (904): its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go. http://tfl.nu/zvzo
  Replies (14) Good night (405) Bad night (1250) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives

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  (513): I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives http://tfl.nu/f744
  Replies (6) Good night (1565) Bad night (298) Order T-Shirt

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