Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.

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  (503): It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn. http://tfl.nu/grez
  Replies (32) Good night (684) Bad night (3390)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness

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  (480): I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness http://tfl.nu/10ex
  Replies (5) Good night (5074) Bad night (824)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.

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  (413): I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick. http://tfl.nu/84fo
  Replies (15) Good night (2098) Bad night (6640)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...

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  (814): Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major... http://tfl.nu/yhqh
  Replies (9) Good night (2738) Bad night (1181)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.

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  (651): When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end. http://tfl.nu/o22d
  Replies (17) Good night (648) Bad night (2750)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup

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  (207): I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup http://tfl.nu/gqz1
  Replies (20) Good night (1615) Bad night (618)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.

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  (337): Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex. http://tfl.nu/wf1h
  Replies (11) Good night (698) Bad night (2439)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.

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  (631): Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition. http://tfl.nu/xj5o
  Replies (3) Good night (1581) Bad night (532)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.

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  (215): You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized. http://tfl.nu/g02p
  Replies (3) Good night (997) Bad night (447)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys

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  (505): I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys http://tfl.nu/88rh
  Replies (10) Good night (1513) Bad night (404)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.

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  (817): Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks. http://tfl.nu/jci6
  Replies (3) Good night (286) Bad night (504)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"

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  (978): maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk" http://tfl.nu/jf8r
  Replies (4) Good night (350) Bad night (455)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much

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  (647): im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much http://tfl.nu/vzm3
  Replies (6) Good night (301) Bad night (720)
• Favorite

  (559): View more from California

  They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.

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  (559): They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts. http://tfl.nu/pgwh
  Replies (1) Good night (699) Bad night (334)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...

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  (419): I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord... http://tfl.nu/yyau
  Replies (3) Good night (793) Bad night (350)

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