Texts From Last Night

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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.

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  (508): Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one. http://tfl.nu/qdhb
  Replies (17) Good night (3965) Bad night (658)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it

  (987): View more from

  im ashamed your my cousin

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  (520): he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it (987): im ashamed your my cousin http://tfl.nu/oj53
  Replies (15) Good night (1077) Bad night (3410)
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  (949): View more from California

  My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.

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  (949): My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout. http://tfl.nu/7ut3
  Replies (3) Good night (4427) Bad night (744)
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  (315): View more from New York

  My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...

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  (315): My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships... http://tfl.nu/1r9u
  Replies (43) Good night (3224) Bad night (6740)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.

  (347): View more from New York

  Something to remember me by.

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  (832): I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet. (347): Something to remember me by. http://tfl.nu/ual5
  Replies (6) Good night (2595) Bad night (1933)
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."

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  (870): He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed." http://tfl.nu/z9xx
  Replies (11) Good night (7021) Bad night (1522)
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  (+33): View more from France

  how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?

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  (+33): how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men? http://tfl.nu/4scz
  Replies (61) Good night (7020) Bad night (1241)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos

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  (914): Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos http://tfl.nu/qe5u
  Replies (33) Good night (2745) Bad night (5015)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!

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  (816): Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?! http://tfl.nu/dodw
  Replies (15) Good night (1096) Bad night (7093)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.

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  (905): I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do. http://tfl.nu/nqbr
  Replies (5) Good night (1656) Bad night (784)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time

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  (561): 6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time http://tfl.nu/83id
  Replies (5) Good night (1286) Bad night (464)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.

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  (940): Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things. http://tfl.nu/0rsv
  Replies (10) Good night (1934) Bad night (511)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.

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  (713): She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience. http://tfl.nu/a6s4
  Replies (5) Good night (1780) Bad night (572)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.

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  (256): Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people. http://tfl.nu/64sc
  Replies (1) Good night (846) Bad night (229)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.

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  (+44): You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon. http://tfl.nu/b5ax
  Replies (2) Good night (558) Bad night (276)

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