Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin

(253): View more from Washington

was*

(509): View more from Washington

True, R.I.P.

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(607): View more from New York

Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.

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(516): View more from New York

Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(405): View more from Oklahoma

Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.

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(801): View more from Utah

he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.

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(530): View more from California

Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.

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(707): View more from California

We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly

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(690): View more from

Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.

(1-690): View more from

Drunk, high, hungover?

(690): View more from

...I wish I had an excuse.

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