Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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