it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Randomize