Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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