dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
