All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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