let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
