so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
