I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
