and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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