My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Randomize
