Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
