I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
