that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
i think i just lost a toe
Randomize
