Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
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