How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
