k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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